Sneha Dutta

Selectively shy and socially awkward creature yes that's me Sneha 💓

My maa tho spanks me a lot lobs me even more, I lob the payesh she makes. 💕

My baba tho never spanked me lobs me equally, he's more like a friend. They are the besttt!! 💘

Me lobs my bari... But I lob my room most... I love the lawn and chad the most... I play there a lot 💝

Hey there, though you know me maybe even more than I do myself, you still asked me to write this pointless essay on myself. Soo where do we start from??

My childhood🤔 From what I've heard from the elders, I was a quite kid. Santo sisto kinda. If they'd make me sit in one place they were sure to find me there until the end of the day. That level of Santo I was. I didn't cry much either except when I strangers tried to take me kole or I was hungry. Wasn't very ziddi either cause that meant unwanted spankings. Unproblematic kinda (so not me rn🥲).

I wasn't very close to my parents in childhood ig cause duh I didn't spend much time with them except like sleeping time at night (sometimes not even that). Not until my early teens at least. When I grew up I could only remember my mother as a very strict parent and my father kinda carefree person tho hardly there with me. Maybe I developed mommy issues over time but I did overcome them. I can't be any more proud about that.

On a sidenote I do have a lot of loving relatives. Few are pain in ass, yes there's always some of them. Others are decent and people I really love and respect.

Also, I have pretty bad motion sickness. Really bad. Haven't gotten better with time. So I never travelled much and hated it. Though I always loved the idea of it. I'd love to travel a lottttt once I get better with moving vehicles.

Nowww in school I was very energetic and naughty at times too. I had a lot of change of friends throughout the years. Only Jaya tho stayed constant from class 2 or 1(not anymore tho 🥲). Others like... came and went.

I loved reading story books since I was a kid. Started with like picture books. Sometimes I'd draw over them too lol. I've read lots of them over time. Whenever someone would ask me what I wanted as my bday gift I'd say it's either dolls or story books.

Growing up was bad indeed. There were lots of phases, change of heart, break of heart, friends to foe etc. I was stuck pretty bad once tho. I think I've been very sensitive all along. So every little things anyone said or did started affecting me and I took it to my heart. Now feels funny (tho I'm still sensitive too much ig) Was dreadful back then. Must be the teen hormones huh?😩. And then there were sleepless nights without me even knowing when it all started. Slowly it started to take a toll on me. Maybe I normalised all of it.

But now that I look back, there's a lot of thing which shouldn't have happened. Now there was school stuffs and there was family stuffs too. I don't work well under pressure. I was just a kid anyway. I have done things to myself I'm not at all proud of. I shouldn't have. I eventually did learn to forgive myself. Time flies. Situation changes so do people. But they do carry some things from the past afterall.

Btw I very recently have started to draw (I hated it before cause I thought I can't draw(I was just impatient ig)) and though I do very little of it, I seem to enjoy it.

I've met some wonderful people along the way. They kept me going through the worst possible times. I've learnt a lot of things now. I've learnt how to handle myself better(just a lil bit hoping to get better) and manage my feelings better( I'm trying I swear 🥲). I'm certainly not proud of every bit of myself. But when I look back I definitely feel good about myself for trying to be a better with ever passing day and not giving up yet.

If you've read till here... Then thanks for bearing with me... Here's a cookie 🍪 for you...

- Sneha